originally written Sunday, May 31, 2009 at 10:10am on Facebook
I am writing this note to openly discuss my relationship with my post baby belly, the pregnancy pooch or what I unaffectionately refer to as..."the Blob". This is a relatively new relationship, the Blobs and mine, but let me make this clear, I am not in love with the Blob, the Blob and I are not friends, yes we share the occasional meal or latte, but only out of necessity.
Let me fill you in a little on the nature of the Blob, he is soft, he is flappy, he is determined to ruin any cute outfit that comes his way. He hangs around my mid-section day and night, night and day, constantly making his presence known.
The Blob and I met March 28, 2009 almost instantly after my daughter was born, it was disgust at first sight. There he was creeping under my blue hospital gown, like a stranger in the night, something about him intrigued me...I had to look. And when I did, I wish I hadn't...he was baaad. I knew he was no good for me, I knew we could only be seen together behind closed doors. What is it about those bad boys? Already feeling 'attached' to the blob, what did I do? I brought him home....
2 months goes by and I decide this just isn't working out...he has GOT to go!!! Now, I've let him know it is over, but unfortunately he is not going to go down without a fight. Let me tell you, this guy is stubborn. I do sit ups, still there. I've cut out desserts, still there (okay, maybe I cheat and give him some here and there, I'm trying to let him down lightly, ya know?).
I've read that it takes the same amount of time to ditch the weight as it did to gain it. So your telling me the Blob might stalk me for another 7 months???If any of you ladies have any tips on how you got rid of your Blob, do tell....Diets? Crunches? Restraining order?
Oh yeah, and somewhere along the way his nasty ex-girlfriend found me.... lets just call her "Ms. Stretch Mark". What a bitch she turned out to be...