Saturday, July 25, 2009

Battle of the Blue Jeans

4 months later and I'm still wearing maternity jeans. I have a problem with this. Let me give you the lowdown on the pregnancy LB's...I gained about 28-29 pounds, a fair and average amount for my height and pre-baby weight (which I note was not quite where I wanted to start off, but that's besides the point)...of those 28 lbs. I have lost about 20, the remaining 10 lbs feel like they are going to hang around until my dying day.

For what I carry around in my jugs, I thought the rest of my body would have gone back to normal by now. I feel that last 10 lbs are literally made up of milk and massive breast tissue...but that's a whole other blog. So here's my point...why the hell can't I get my old jeans up past my knees? I've heard that term "child-bearing hips" but I didn't think it was meant so literally. They don't look that much bigger to me. (Scratching my head). The jeans I can get up over my hips, when I squeeze that poor little button, all I am doing is creating that ever-so-pleasant "muffin top". Back in the closet my old jeans went. Every couple of weeks I try again..sadly no luck.

This week I decided to bite the bullet and go shopping for new pair of transitional jeans, in other words FAT pants. Now these jeans can be dangerous, for you could get too comfy and accustom to this new comfortable size. Up until this point I said NO!, I will not by any jeans in this size, I am determined to get into my old jeans! But something told me, I may never get back into those old jeans, not to say I won't lose the weight, just a realization that my body has changed, internally as well as this outer fat suit I'm wearing.

Hmmm...what do I do? I thought and then said out loud: "I need mom jeans!" No more 'low rise' denim, no more 'junior' sizes! Did I really think I could still wear 'odd number' sizes? Oh no, I am so wearing the even numbers now. Maybe some day I can sling on a pair of low rise jeans again, when the pooch goes away, but for now no one needs to see my ass crack. Whitney said it all sister: Crack is Whack!

Not wanting to spend a fortune on the fat jeans I headed out to Old Navy...thinking I would score a sensible pair of jeans, maybe 2 if I got lucky. Mmmm, not so much, I tried on about 6 pairs of jeans, different rises, washes, lengths, colors. Now some of them did fit, but the higher waisted ones just made me laugh...all of my 5 foot 3 body was shoved into those jeans...I was jeans with arms...and a head. Yes, my tummy looked flat, of course when the jeans came up over my belly button whats to hang over? It was a lose/lose situation. Are there no jeans made for a post pregnancy body???

I'd wear these maternity jeans forever if I could, they are so comfy, and they have the ever so lovely panel to hold everything in. You don't even have to unzip when you go potty! I think all jeans should have elastic tops, buttons and zippers are over rated. Trouble is I only have 2 pairs that I wear and I wash the crap out of them...they are ultra faded and starting to become flood pants. I am so tempted to go buy a brand new fresh pair. But I wont! I will work hard to lose inches around my hips and lose the preggo pooch...I have to, it's my only option unless I want to end up in LEE jeans...and those are mom jeans FER SURE!!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Joy that Is... daughter. I can't begin to express the feelings of JOY my daughter brings me. She is the most precious gift from God. I hold her and can't believe she is mine. I made her. I carried her. She loves me. I'm her mama.

Everyday that goes by I love her more. She is such a happy girl. Hearing her coo and giggle is music to my ears. Seeing her smile and wink makes my eyes light up. Smelling her sweet, sweet smell makes my heart pound. Touching her soft chubby cheeks, well I can hardly stand it, I literally have to stop myself from biting her!! I just wanna eat her up!

There is nothing in the world that could prepare you for the joy of being a mom. I had no idea what this love would feel like. She is so precious and innocent. She looks to me for everything she needs in her little tiny world.

I constantly thank God for this perfect being he gave me, that I get the privilege of being her mommy. She makes me want to be the best person I can be...

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

the Blob.

originally written Sunday, May 31, 2009 at 10:10am on Facebook

I am writing this note to openly discuss my relationship with my post baby belly, the pregnancy pooch or what I unaffectionately refer to as..."the Blob". This is a relatively new relationship, the Blobs and mine, but let me make this clear, I am not in love with the Blob, the Blob and I are not friends, yes we share the occasional meal or latte, but only out of necessity.

Let me fill you in a little on the nature of the Blob, he is soft, he is flappy, he is determined to ruin any cute outfit that comes his way. He hangs around my mid-section day and night, night and day, constantly making his presence known.

The Blob and I met March 28, 2009 almost instantly after my daughter was born, it was disgust at first sight. There he was creeping under my blue hospital gown, like a stranger in the night, something about him intrigued me...I had to look. And when I did, I wish I hadn't...he was baaad. I knew he was no good for me, I knew we could only be seen together behind closed doors. What is it about those bad boys? Already feeling 'attached' to the blob, what did I do? I brought him home....

2 months goes by and I decide this just isn't working out...he has GOT to go!!! Now, I've let him know it is over, but unfortunately he is not going to go down without a fight. Let me tell you, this guy is stubborn. I do sit ups, still there. I've cut out desserts, still there (okay, maybe I cheat and give him some here and there, I'm trying to let him down lightly, ya know?).

I've read that it takes the same amount of time to ditch the weight as it did to gain it. So your telling me the Blob might stalk me for another 7 months???If any of you ladies have any tips on how you got rid of your Blob, do tell....Diets? Crunches? Restraining order?

Oh yeah, and somewhere along the way his nasty ex-girlfriend found me.... lets just call her "Ms. Stretch Mark". What a bitch she turned out to be...

Holy Blogger Batman

In these hi-speed, technologically advanced times...I felt one way I could keep up and be apart of things is to blog. I don't have a iPhone, a Crackberry or even web access on my phone. But what I do have is 10 digits and a lot of thoughts...I can blog. Let this be my first blog, an intro if you will.

I am guessing most of my blogs will consist of the following categories: my new adventures in motherhood, my love/hate relationship with my ever so changing body, baby milestones, disastrous tales of my bad dog, the irritatingly manly things my husband does and other random entries.

In short, I am a new mom to a beautiful girl, a great wife ( if I must say so), a friend, daughter, sister, & aunt...just looking for a forum for my little voice to be heard. Just a spot to collect my thoughts while I'm chillin' over here 'In 'da Mommyhood'...